I was married to my high school sweetheart for
6 years and unfortunately he was cheating on me for 5 of those 6 years.
We have four beautiful young men from our union. The last words of my
ex-husband, was that no one would want me because I
had four boys and that they would just use me. Once we divorced, he
moved back to his hometown, and I moved closer to family. I met my
current husband once I moved, during my current husband and I's
courtship, I made my boys call him "Mr. and his first name" (don't want
to mention his name), out of respect. My husband has not only provided
for myself and my boys, but he loves them just like they are his own, as
he has three wonderful and beautiful
young adults as well. When my ex
and I divorced our twins had just turned one, so they really didn't know
my ex, and truly believe that their dad is my current husband. When one
of my twins had surgery, he was the first one that he saw when he woke
up, and my ex husband nor his family (his dads side of the family) never
even came to the hospital to see him. Well once me and my current
husband decided to get married, I told the boys that they didn't have to
call him Mr. ***** any longer, but they had to come up with a
respectful name to call him. Our oldest son got together with his
brothers, and they decided to call him dad. We asked if they were sure,
and they said yes, that is what we want to call him. They said that
since he is marrying our mom, he is our dad. We said ok, well once my
ex-husband and his family (his dads side) found out about this, they
went to social media, they texted me, talked foul about me and my
husband saying I shouldn't make them call him their dad, because he is
not and I was wrong. Mind you during the time that I was a single mom, I
didn't receive any child support, my boys didn't get any calls,
birthday cards nothing, his parents(his moms side) and my parents helped
take care of my boys so much that they could have claimed them on their
taxes if they wanted to (if you get my drift). Now our older children
(my husbands biological children), call me by my first name because
that's what they wanted to call me, and they introduce me as their mom,
and not their step mom. Just like if someone asks us how many children
do we have we say 7, because we listened to your advice about taking the
word "Step" out of the equation. I have repeatedly told him and his
family that the boys know that my husband is not their biological dad,
and it is ok for them to have 2 dads, especially sine he( my husband) is
providing a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food in
their mouths, he provides emotional, spiritual, and financial support
and they still seem to have a problem with it. Multiple occasions I have
to tell his family that if they say anything else negative about the
boys calling my husband dad that they would not be able to see them. I
don't want to do this because I want my boys to know ALL their family on
both sides. I'm tired of arguing with this side of the family in
regards to this. Please HELP US. I am so grateful to my husband for his
understanding, his help and not getting frustrated when all this goes
down, but I am to my whit's end with this nonsense.
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